i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
