i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
