i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
