Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
