I think I am morally bankrupt
Do vagina's smell?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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