I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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