What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Blow job season was short but glorious.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
