I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize