I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
