I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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