i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
