when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize