Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
