i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
