his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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