I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
