So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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