Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think your dad took our porno
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
