put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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