I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
