She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
