Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
