i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
