She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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