the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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