I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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