he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
