i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
