i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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