His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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