So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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