IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
