I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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