the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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