I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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