I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
