If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
