It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My bed smells like the plague
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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