i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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