he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize