my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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