Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All I want is dick and wine.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
