so explain again why im purple
no
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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