As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize