your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
