He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
