i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
