They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
