Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it was like eating out sand paper
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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