So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
