His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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