he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize