yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize