69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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