Life is so much better after having sex.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
