Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
