That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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