Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
