yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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