Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
