I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
