I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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