He kissed a someone with a penis
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
