$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
