Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
