ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
