I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
