sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize