Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
third nipple confirmed
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
