To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
