Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my being single is dangerous.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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