I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
