in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
