I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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