i permit you to call me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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