Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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